Painful Reflections
by Latin Usako
Summary: Looking back on missed opportunities can be the most painful thing you have to do in your life....


Disclaimer: Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi. I regret not being the one to create this wonderful series, but it is not mine. This is for the sole enjoyment of the fans of Sailor Moon and I am in no way making a profit of this.   
Rated: PG (this is pretty deep folks ^_^)  
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Painful Reflections  
by Sonia M.  
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It was dark, at least that's the way it seemed in her mind.  
Time seemed to have stop, and it was just the two of them.  
That's the way it should've been from the beginning.  
Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew something terrible had happened, but she didn't want to face it. Not now.  
For now, it was just the two of them.  
She studied his face, the face she had always admired from afar.  
She had always loved staring into the clear blue pools she could just lose herself in, had longed to run her fingers through the dark silky hair.  
And the face, the face she had only just discovered, how she yearned to trace the contours of that face.  
She had secretly hoped that, together, they could explore uncharted territory and let loose the passion that they always approached with caution, but nonetheless knew was there.  
Always together.  
Somehow, in the midst of her pain, an image came to her of two people looking deep into each other's souls, saying nothing but speaking volumes. They seemed to shine with inner peace and a happiness that came from being in such close proximities to one another. It was all new to both, but somehow familiar.  
They looked as if they had all the time in the world.   
She heard them utter a single word, promising many things, sure that the time would come:   
"Later."   
She felt like crying, telling them that it was a lie, that later would not bring the beautiful things they promised each other, but instead would bring a wave of destruction. But she kept silent.  
It was like staring into a looking glass. She was afraid that if she stared too hard the image would shatter. Unfortunately, it did.  
It shattered into a million pieces, sharp jagged edges flying everywhere.   
She suddenly saw blood and wondered if it was her own.  
She wished it had been.  
No, she realized, it was HIS blood.  
But it might as well have been her own, because if he bled she bled, if he suffered, she suffered.   
They were one, had been one since the beginning of time.  
The tears suddenly flowed down her face unchecked; tears of sorrow, loss, and regret.   
Sorrow that their love had not had the time to fully blossom.   
Tears because they had lost something that was always present but had never explored.  
Regret because their beginning had also been their end.   
The tears mixed with blood. HIS blood.  
She remembered why he bled, and the answer made her shudder.  
He bled for HER. NO. He bled for THEM.  
For what they were and had been. For the love they had known for thousands of years, yet had discovered only moments before.  
She shuddered as she remembered how black his eyes had been, how close he had come to...  
But he hadn't. He'd stopped just in time, had remembered as the delicate music had played, fighting the evil that resided within him. He had fought the evil and had won.  
But had he, really? Had he won one battle only to lose another, the most important battle of all?  
She remembered that there were many more people she had lost, and shed tears for them also.   
Her friends.  
She broke out of her reverie and remembered why he was so still, unmoving and why he was turning cold, cold as ice.  
He was dying, and a part of her was dying along with him.  
She saw all this by staring into his eyes, and regretted the time lost bickering, time in which they could have made many beautiful memories.  
The expressionless eyes she had studied for over five minutes suddenly looked back, dimming even as he spoke the words she had known were felt, but never expressed.  
"I love you."  
Even as Life was handing him to Death, even as the clear orbs lost their light, he had the strength to utter those three words.  
"I love you too," she said in return.  
She cried harder, wishing with all her heart that things could have ended differently, that they could start over.  
"Things would be so different", she promised. "We wouldn't make the same mistakes, I swear we wouldn't."  
Even as she promised, begged, and pleaded, the light left his eyes, until there was none.  
"NO!!!! NO!! You can't take him from me!! Not so soon after he came back to me!! Please, I beg of the kamis, let him live!! Let us live!!!"  
She cradled his body, hugging him to her, and wept a river until an ocean started to form.  
She tried to warm him, but he only grew colder, and she knew he was lost to her.  
"Endymion!! My prince!! Come back to me!! Don't leave me!!"  
At that moment, Serenity/Serena/Sailor Moon, felt something within her snap.   
The soul bond that Destiny had so carefully held in one piece was no longer there. She no longer felt the happiness that her heart thrived on, no longer felt the hope that had helped her face each day head on.  
She too had died.  
She began to think all was lost, until she remembered someone who could make things better, no, WOULD make things better.  
So she closed her eyes and focused on the one person who had once told her: "I am always with you. If you need me, summon me, and I will be there."  
'Mother. Please, Mother. Help me. Let us start over mother.  
Just as you once gave light to our souls, I plead, help us again.'  
As if in answer to her prayer, light enveloped both and she was suddenly floating in space. There were no minutes or seconds. What was, was, with no explanations.   
She no longer felt afraid. There was no more sadness, no more anger.   
There was only hope.  
That was her last memory, for she remembered no more.  
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A woman stood by as two young people bickered.   
"How's the ditzy meatball head?"  
"Now let me tell you something you jerk...."  
A sad expression crossed her face, but was gone as suddenly as it had appeared.  
Even though things hadn't changed, she knew it had been worth it. Whatever may happen in the future, she would never regret having given her life so their love could blossom.   
Yes, she knew someday it would.  
Soon.  
But that's a story for later.  
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Author's Notes:  
I wrote this up about two years ago when I first started writing fanfiction, so be kind please. It was angst-ridden and a lot of people still don't know where this came from (I don't either). It's supposed to take place when evil Endymion has tried to kill his true love but can't because, as all Sailor Moon fans know, LOVE CONQUERS ALL!! Bwahaha! Umm...sorry 'bout that. I decided that it needed some editing but you can't really do editing unless you have people read it first, ne? So come on guys, tell me what you think by writing me simplyshy@hotmail.com or just review this story down at the bottom of the page. It's always fun going back to old stories and seeing just how far you've come along as a writer...or how much more you need to go. LOL.   
Laters,  
Sonia M.  
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